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As we all know marriage is a sacrament, a sign of grace; grace to become co-creators with God himself. It is an institution in which a man and a woman are equally knit to be partners of human promotion. Marriage is not a onetime event as many consider, it is a constant effort of two people from the day they were pronounced man and woman till the day death do them apart. Marriage is in making. Love is the binding force for marriage; evidently most marriages are motivated by love but not all marriages are maintained by it. Even many of the catholic marriages reach their tragic end as the couples desert one another; cheat behind their backs, or even divorce. Some faithful followers of Catholic Church who strongly believe in its teachings may not draw to the extremes but pull along unpleasant, bitter, broken marriages, may be hoping some day they can mend their relationship, revive their love and renew their marriage. It is to them this write-up will make more sense. If you are the one wondering how to restore married love as divine heritage continue reading:

What is dignity?

Dignity is our inherent value and worth as human beings. Being worthy of honor and respect for yourself. Psalm 8 puts it thus, “you have made him little less than a God and crowned him with glory and honor”. We need to constantly claim this divine heritage, as sons and daughters of God.The most beautiful gift you can give your self is recognizing and reinforcing your self-worth by cherishing the undeniable truth that you are the image and likeness of God. You are valuable, priceless and irreplaceable

Dignity is what defines us. It flourishes when we treat ourselves as persons of intrinsic value. It determines how we allow ourselves to be treated by our partners.When you accept devaluation by anyone, you lose your dignity. When you allow yourself to be treated as an object in the name of love and relationship you fail to protect the precious gift the lord has vested you with.

Yes it can. These are the warning signs that one needs to be cautious about

  • Obvious changes happen between the couple
  • Communication reduces.
  • Complaints increases.
  • Compliments stops
  • Conversations prolong and ends in fight.
  • When either of the spouse undergo abuse silently
  • When it costs your mental health.
  • Find yourself apologizing all the time to the point of you being in the state of constant guilt
  • Gave up on your favorites to please the other
  • You are not at ease in your friend’s circle – sometimes even with self or forced isolation
  • Feel let down in front of your besties
  • You dread the time with your partner
  • You are extremely conscious of your physical flaws as pointed out by your partner
  • You are not able to stand up for yourself
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Toxic Relationship Dynamics

The marriage therapist Peter Pearson speaks of two toxic relationship dynamics. They are:

  1. A conflict – avoidant dynamic – Never contradicts the partner just to avoid problems.
  2. A hostile – dependent Dynamic – everything is tolerable because of one’s total dependency on the other.

The longer the marriage, these mechanisms grow as coping mechanisms. Most couple starts off wanting to be nice to each other and responsive to each other….starting with compromising slowly enter in to silent forbearance or even nonexistent mode just to maintain the cemetery peace. These both dynamics are not helpful in repairing marriage. 

What must be done: Go through the uncomfortable process of identifying one’s own values and communicate them well while recognizing that the other partner too has her/his own different values.